“51 Flakes Lose Their Clearance: The Intel Circus Gets a Reality Check”

By Hans Wilder, Watertown NY

Well, well, well, look who just got their golden tickets to the classified candy store revoked. Fifty-one “intel agents”—or as I like to call them, the Masters of Misjudgment—are now walking around D.C. with no more access than your Aunt Mildred trying to reset her Gmail password. And why? Because their brilliant “professional opinion” on Hunter Biden’s laptop turned out to be about as reliable as a gas station sushi chef.

You remember this circus, don’t you? Back in the 2020 election, Hunter’s laptop dropped into the public eye like a turd in the punch bowl. And these guys—these experts—they didn’t just say, “Hey, let’s wait and see.” Nope! They ran to their keyboards, slapped together a letter, and declared, “It’s Russian disinformation!” The only thing missing was a stamp that said, Trust Us, We’re the Deep State™.

Turns out, the laptop was as real as it gets. Emails, photos, videos—everything but Hunter’s Spotify Wrapped. But here’s the kicker: these intel gurus didn’t actually check anything. They didn’t dig. They just assumed. And you know what they say about assuming—it makes an ass out of you and the entire country.

Fast forward to today, and Trump—yes, that Trump—steps back onto the stage and says, “You know what? Enough with the security clearances for these clowns. If they can’t spot the difference between real dirt and fake news, they shouldn’t be anywhere near the secrets.” And honestly? For once, I’m with the guy. If you can’t do the job, you don’t get to play in the Pentagon sandbox.

But let’s get real—this isn’t just about Hunter Biden’s laptop. This is about a culture of incompetence wrapped in arrogance, dipped in a sense of immunity. These people think their credentials are shields against accountability. It’s like giving a kid a hall pass and then acting surprised when he’s smoking behind the bleachers.

Here’s what really stings: these 51 agents didn’t just make a mistake—they helped shape the narrative of a presidential election. They gave the media the green light to bury a story that mattered, all while telling us to “trust the process.” But trust is earned, not demanded. And these jokers spent theirs like a sailor on shore leave.

Now, they’re crying foul. “It’s political!” they say. “It’s revenge!” Oh, give me a break. If you want to play with fire, don’t complain when you get scorched. Losing your clearance isn’t political—it’s the bare minimum when you’ve shown the judgment of a toddler in a candy store.

So here we are, watching 51 supposed experts join the unemployment line for intel rejects. Maybe they can spend their newfound free time brushing up on basic investigative techniques. Or, better yet, they can get jobs at Applebee’s, where bad judgment only ruins your appetizer, not an entire election.

In the meantime, let this be a lesson: the truth doesn’t care about your credentials, your party loyalty, or your spin. It’s out there, waiting for someone with the guts to find it. And if you can’t handle that, you’ve got no business anywhere near the controls.

End of rant.

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