Oh, here we go again—another forecast, another “data-driven” simulation. You know, they simulate the electoral college 50,000 times, like it’s some kind of Vegas slot machine. Pull the lever, see if Trump or Harris pops up, and pretend it’s all so scientific. And don’t get me wrong, I love a good simulation—especially when it’s predicting the one thing they can’t stand: Trump taking the wheel again in 2024.
But let’s cut through the noise here. They want to talk about polling and “economic trends.” Well, newsflash: the polls have been about as reliable as a weather forecast in the middle of a hurricane. And economic trends? Yeah, the kind where people can’t afford eggs and gas, but sure, let’s give them the benefit of the doubt on that “data.”
Now they brag about getting close in the midterms—one race short of perfection. You know, like almost hitting a bullseye after throwing 500 darts. Congratulations, participation trophy for you. Meanwhile, Trump’s out there shaking things up, getting real people to show up, not just the nerds punching numbers into a simulator.
And their shiny new features? “Simulate election night once a day!” Oh boy, nothing like playing make-believe every morning to start the day. Who needs coffee when you can run fake elections and see how your favorite swing state flips like a pancake?
Look, they’ve been doing this since 1972, and hey, maybe they’ve gotten good at it. But guess what? In 2024, it’s not about simulations, it’s about a movement, and that’s one thing their fancy graphics can’t predict—people actually waking up and putting America First.
