Wilder Treatment by Hans Wilder
Old Dogs, New Bots: Why It’s Time to Embrace AI or Get Left in the Dust
You ever notice how old folks like to say “back in my day”? Yeah, back in your day you had three channels, milkmen, and a phone you dialed with your finger. And God forbid you missed Matlock—you were screwed. But here’s a newsflash for all the aging holdouts still clutching your flip phones and yelling at Alexa like she’s the nurse who forgot your pudding: Artificial Intelligence ain’t your enemy. It’s your new best friend—if you’d just shut up and give it a chance.
I get it. You’re suspicious. You’ve been burned before. Maybe by the banks. Maybe by the government. Maybe by Clippy the Microsoft paperclip who promised help and delivered hell. But this isn’t about some glitchy cartoon assistant. This is about getting older with a little help from something that actually listens, doesn’t forget your name, and doesn’t try to steal your pension.
Let’s get real—your body’s falling apart like a ‘72 Buick in a snowstorm. Knees gone. Back’s shot. Memory? Let’s just say if your brain was a hard drive, it’d be flashing disk error every other thought. But AI can fill in those blanks. It’s like having a perfect grandson who remembers your meds, your appointments, your shopping list, and your favorite Sinatra album—except he doesn’t roll his eyes when you tell the same story for the fifth time. He just nods and says, “Yes, Grandpa, that was amazing.”
You need help reading your bills? AI reads them to you. Need to figure out your pills so you don’t end up taking sleeping meds at breakfast? Done. Can’t remember your password for the 12th time this week? Boom—AI’s got your digital butler on standby. It’s not just smart—it’s tireless. It doesn’t get bored. It doesn’t forget. It doesn’t age.
Still not sold? Let’s talk mobility. You’re staring at the top shelf in your kitchen like it’s Everest. Meanwhile, AI-driven gadgets can move things, open jars, clean your floors, track your heart rate, and alert someone when you’ve fallen and can’t get up—before you even know you’re going down. It’s not just a button on a necklace anymore—it’s a whole rescue team in your watch, your glasses, and even your hearing aids. That’s not the future. That’s now.
But here’s the kicker: most of you are too stubborn to use it. You say it’s “too complicated,” but you’ll spend 47 minutes trying to get the TV remote to work because you “don’t trust the cloud.” Newsflash, Ethel—your entire medical history is already on a cloud. And you ain’t coming down from it. So why not make it work for you?
You don’t have to worship it. This isn’t the Terminator. This is about using your last couple of decades (yeah, I said it) to enjoy life instead of stumbling through it like a Bingo zombie. AI can help you remember birthdays, balance your checkbook, or even tell you when your cat is depressed. Hell, it might even help you fall in love again—with another old coot who also embraced the machine and got the courage to swipe right.
So what’s the alternative? Sit in the dark, confuse the oven with the dishwasher, and scream into the void because you can’t get the printer to connect to Wi-Fi? Or you can let the robot do the hard stuff, so you can finally enjoy your retirement without turning every simple task into a Greek tragedy.
Look, aging ain’t for sissies. But getting help from AI doesn’t make you weak—it makes you smart. Because the best thing you can do at this stage of the game is stop playing checkers while the world’s playing quantum chess.
So here’s my final advice: Put on your big boy pants, fire up the tablet, and let the bot be your brain’s backup drive. You might just find out that this so-called “artificial” intelligence can help you live a more authentic life. And that, my friends, is the most human thing of all.
Don’t be the last guy on the dance floor still trying to waltz while the band’s playing techno.
—Hans Wilder
Senior Citizen Whisperer, AI Evangelist, and Professional Explainer of the Obvious
