By Ben Rowe
Picture it: May 25, 1977—some folks in the audience are expecting a standard sci-fi flick about, oh, a talking alien dog or two. Instead, the theater lights dim, and an unholy roar of special-effects wizardry greets them. The screen flickers alive with the words “A long time ago…” and suddenly everyone realizes they’ve accidentally signed up for the wildest space soap opera this side of the Milky Way.
At first, half the crowd leans forward, squinting at the opening crawl. “What’s a Republic? And why are there 1,000 senators? Were we late on our taxes?” whispers someone in the back, already regretting the $2.25 ticket price. Others lean back, sipping their soda, not quite sure if they should applaud or check their watches. “Is this still in 1977?” one brave soul murmurs, prompting an immediate shove from his neighbor—“Shh! The Wookie’s about to scream!”
Then, out of the darkness, comes that lumbering Imperial Star Destroyer. Gasps. A collective “Ooooh!” rises from the seats, mingled with someone’s hushed, reverent, “That thing’s bigger than my first apartment!” Kids start bouncing in their seats, legs swinging like pod racers as the tension ratchets up. A single laser blast ignites, and half the audience flinches as if someone popped a balloon behind them.
And just when you think you’ve got a handle on this whole “space princess and dweeby farm boy” business, along comes the Millennium Falcon, swooping in like a drunken seagull. “What the—!” shouts a guy two rows up, spilling popcorn everywhere. A hush falls, punctuated only by the whine of someone’s VCR utterly inadequate to handle 1977’s high-octane sound design.
By the time Obi-Wan delivers that line—“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for”—the audience is hooked. Lightsaber hum? Music swelling? Luke gazing at twin sunsets? Tears, cheers, nasal congestion—pure emotional chaos. When the credits finally roll, half the crowd slouches in their seats, mouths hanging open. The other half leaps up, fist-pumping like they just hit Vegas’ biggest jackpot, chanting “Star Wars! Star Wars!”
Newsflash: this wasn’t just a movie premiere; it was the moment civilization collectively forgot how to sit still. Ever since, every time someone says “May the Force be with you,” a little piece of that first screening’s magic flickers to life—complete with spilled soda, blown minds, and the faint echo of “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”
