UFOs, Drones, and Shifty Government Answers: Another Day in the Land of Denial
By Hans Wilder for Digital Media USA
Ladies and gentlemen, we’re back in business—the business of unidentified flying somethings. Yes, those buzzing, blinking airborne enigmas have returned to America’s skies. This time, they’re circling military bases, creeping over Trump’s golf course, and giving suburbanites in New Jersey a reason to check the bottle of NyQuil before bed.
But here’s the thing: they don’t want you to panic. No, sir. National Security Spokesman Extraordinaire John Kirby says there’s nothing to worry about. These drones, UFOs, UAPs—whatever buzzword they’re testing this week—pose “no threat to public safety or national security.” Translation? “Don’t look over here. Go back to Netflix. Everything’s fine.”
Except it’s not fine. You know it. I know it. And I bet even Kirby’s nervous. Watch his body language the next time he fields one of these questions. He squirms. He stammers. His eyes dart around like he’s searching for an exit sign. Kirby might not know the full story—hell, the Pentagon might’ve handed him a script and plausible deniability—but you can bet your last tinfoil hat that something weird is going on.
“Normalization” Is the Name of the Game
Here’s the game plan, folks: drip-feed the absurd until it feels ordinary. One day it’s “unidentified objects,” next week it’s “commercial drones,” and by next month, they’ll tell you it’s just Amazon testing new ways to deliver socks. Don’t buy it. They’re trying to normalize the abnormal.
You know what’s not normal? Thousands of reports of drones flying over sensitive sites—military installations, government facilities, even power plants. Oh, and a “non-threat” that somehow requires the fire department to dust off their hazmat suits. Not exactly a chill vibe, is it?
Meanwhile, New Jersey’s got these drones swarming like locusts, and the FBI tip line has lit up with 5,000 calls. Even the Department of Defense admits they’ve only chased down “less than 100 leads.” Translation: “We have no idea what’s going on, but we’re super confident it’s nothing.” Does that sound reassuring to you?
A History of Shady Behavior
Now let’s zoom out for a second. If you’ve been paying attention to Uncle Sam’s UFO history, you’ll recognize the pattern. First, deny it. Second, dismiss it. Third, reluctantly admit something is going on. And finally, pretend like it’s always been normal. Remember Roswell? Remember Project Blue Book? This is the government’s Greatest Hits album—“Cover-Ups, Lies, and Non-Answers, Vol. 3.”
This time around, it’s drones. Or are they? We’ve all heard the polite euphemisms: UAP (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena), weather balloons, swamp gas, Venus reflecting off a car windshield. But whatever’s zipping around up there is beyond normal, and it’s driving people bonkers because the answers are so laughably bad.
And while Kirby insists there’s “no foreign involvement”—which we’ll take with a grain of radioactive salt—the lack of transparency is what’s making everyone grab their pitchforks.
They’re At It Again
Folks, here’s the rub. The government doesn’t tell you things because they think you can’t handle it. They assume the public will collectively lose its mind, which, let’s be honest, isn’t a totally unfair assumption given the way we behave on Black Friday. But here’s the kicker: it’s 2024. We’re all desensitized. Show us the aliens. Show us the fancy tech. At this point, we just want the truth because we’re tired of being spoon-fed nonsense.
And let’s be real: this is a cover-up, and they’re not even doing a good job hiding it. The more Kirby and company lean into the “nothing to see here” act, the more obvious it becomes that there’s plenty to see—if we could only get a straight answer.
So, if you’re hearing drones at night or spotting weird lights zipping across the sky, don’t blame your eyes or that third glass of wine. Something’s going on. The government doesn’t want you to know about it. And John Kirby—whether he knows the truth or not—has a job to keep you calm and clueless.
Final Thought
Here’s what George Carlin would’ve told you: “It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it. They know what’s happening. You don’t. And they’re not gonna tell you because they don’t trust you. But trust me, they’re up to something. They always are.”
Keep watching the skies, folks. And if you see a drone? Wave hello—maybe it’s the feds, maybe it’s aliens, or maybe it’s just some jackass who bought a DJI Phantom for Christmas. Either way, it’s not normal. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
